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Aug 18

18th August 2019 – Weekend Blog. So the fambo holiday is over, its been a while since I did a holiday like this one and it was your typical seaside break mixed weather but toddlers enjoying being together on the beach in any weather! Wind breakers, picnics and tea at the pub with annoying wasps and what was lovely was to see so many family’s enjoying these simple pleasures. My favourite beach was Llgwy Beach with its cute beach café and entertainment for both children and adults as well as being beautifully clean. I managed three runs while I was away, from the house where we stayed, into the next bay (Bulls Bay) which was downhill going but then a challenging up hill back! What made the holiday for me was having all 3 of the children ( now aged 33, 30 and 27 in a few days), my daughter in law and the 3 grand children together, it doesn’t happened that often due to distance and generally busy lives so those times are very precious to me. Until this year when my dad passed away, I was one of the sandwich generation. I was feeling the pressure of looking after my dad, supporting my children and helping with grandchildren as well as holding down a very demanding full time job. I was also in a new marriage and a step mum too and found myself constantly rushing from one thing to another. I thought when my dad eventually went into a nursing home that it would help but in realty it didn’t, I visited him every day he was unhappy there and having had to take over his affairs I was left with an enormous sense of responsibility. That sense of responsibility doesn’t end when your children leave school and then home, its tougher to get on the property ladder for them than it was for our generation and its estimated that a quarter of adults 20 to 34 are still living at home. So finding yourself squeezed between these two generations can be stressful, looking back on the 3 years that I was in that situation I realise how exhausted I was and how little time there was for me and my husband too. Sadly even having a holiday like this one would have been difficult for me, I have now lost both of my parents (my mum died at 59 when I was 34) and my husband has lost both of his parents during these years 3 years. So we now refer to ourselves as orphans, I am sad that my dad is no longer here our relationship was not always good but in the end when he needed me it felt right to be there for him and seeing someone deteriorate with dementia is both sad and distressing. It seems that our generation is taking on a lot more than our parents generation did at this stage of life and I think that we need to acknowledge this and adjust to it in a very positive way. Looking back on those last 3 years I could have delegated more of the responsibility than I did and built in more time for me and my partner. I did keep up with my exercise but it was always in a rush, a rush to get there then get home or go to see my dad etc., I also didn’t sleep well with the regular 2 am wake up worrying about some one or something, without 8 hours I really don’t function well! However, hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it?

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